In celebration of our 2^nd anniversary, I proudly present to you the winners of the 2005 XCL Gamer Awards!!!! Of course, there are some categories where there are no clear winners so we’ve listed all the submissions for people’s enjoyment. Also, there were several comments that were shared along with people’s votes that were just too good to not include. Enjoy and congratulations!

 

XCLE 2005 GAMER AWARD WINNERS

 

 

Most Original Gamertag: Night Chicken

Chicken repeats as winner! Honourable mentions go to Easymacaddict, The Giant Squid, EhJay112 (that 112 story is gold), MasterHungus and TK421

 

 

Best Forum Moment:

-          Yendig/Dakin’s winning video in the XCL Spread The Love contest (several)

-          Christianity thread. Go Jesus! (Apache, who’s not as innocent as he’d like us to believe)

-          Pimp my ride in Forza (Mercury)

-          Team Hawk winning the HaloBowl (NinjaRay)

-          Jake creating his nerdy WoW character (Brew)

-          Spam wars between Kross and Ninja (Terror)

-          OurColony.net (several)

-          Almost making onto the CBC (Cujo)

-          Me… oh wait…. (Jake)

-          Fifty educating Kross how to tell people his weight properly (“No man, you gotta say it right, I’m 140, STRAIGHT UP!!) (Easymac)

 

 

Best XCL Related Media: Insano’s Halo2 videos / Yendig/Dakin’s beach video (tie)

A close race but Cappy’s Halo2 videos drew even late with Y/D’s with a vote from none other than the subject of one of Cap’s videos, King Okage. Okage prefaced his vote with a big “JERK!!!” directed at Cappy! Honourable mentions go to the XCLE2004 video and seeing the XCL name appear in the Xbox360 reveal video from MS.

 

 

Best Racer: Due to overwhelming accusations of vote padding, lobbying, administrative arrogance, ego and abuse, this category will not be recognized this year. (Ed: Bastards…. All of you!!!)

 

 

XCL’er Who Should NOT Have His DL: Brewguy

Really, was there any doubt? This was a massive landslide victory. However, there were others that did receive votes. Here’s who and why:

-          DaftPunky. Its not like he ever uses it anyways! (Fifty)

-          Ray. Just for fun… (Apache)

-          Kross. He rear-ended me WAY too much in Forza. (Mercury) (Ed: Isn’t that like the pot calling the kettle black? Wait ‘til you meet him in person.)

-          Kross. He runs everywhere anyways. (Brewguy)

-          LX. Within the top 500 WORST times on some tracks in Forza (Slythar)

-          Brad. Due to legal reasons of course. (several)

 

 

Best Sports Gamer: DrJMac

Honourable mentions go to Hawk, Kross (cause he’s an athlete straight up!) and Wildside (because he’s so hardcore he’d play a 2-man Links tournament).

 

Worst Sports Gamer: BradofCanada

Brad received several votes for this category mainly based on the fact that he signs up for several online events like Links tournaments and such and NEVER plays any of them! (Dis)honourable mentions go to Wild (at least he plays his games), Okage (voting for himself), Fifty (bastards), Bull (for talking to big about his skills at FIFA then losing to someone who was playing it for the first time) and Brewguy!

 

 

Most Accurate Shooter: Hawk

Garnering comments such as “he’s just not human”, Hawk ran away with this one in a decisive victory. Congratulations. Special mention must go towards one vote cast for Apache with the comment “hard to miss when you’re a sword whore”. Good ‘ole Slythar! He’s a funny guy.

 

 

Best Grenade Sticker (Halo2): Chaos Smurf

Chaos takes home the newly renamed Its In Your Face Award for being the most accurate at sticking plasma grenades in Halo2. Other notable votes went to Terror, John Fire and Captin Insano. Easymac also would like it noted that Jake stuck on in his face once too. I hope he meant a grenade…

 

 

Biggest Sniper Whore (Halo2): King Okage

The only surprise in voting here was that it wasn’t a tie between Okage and John Fire. But trust me, it was close with Okage triumphing over John “Did you see that!!!!” Fire by only one vote. Other notables garnering attention in this category were a surprising vote for Dylan (along with a comment that he should share the rocket launcher too!) and Mercury chiming in with his first vote for himself.

 

 

Mr-I’m-Going-For-The-“Special Weapon” Award: Apache

Since the Peach is busy pig farming right now, I’d like to accept this award on his behalf. With people voting and saying that he coined the actual phrase, Apache’s comments were that he knew this award was going to him just from reputation and not from actual fact. Haha, we know the truth. Special mention in this category must go to Easymac for changing the category and voting for himself in the I’m-Going-For-The-Needler-Because-I-Don’t-Know-Where-The-Good-Weapons-Are Award. Also, let’s not forget a vote for Mercury from himself.

 

 

Best Overall Halo2 Player: Hawk

Another landslide for the original XCL Import! Honourable mentions go out to Okage and CCM in this category.

 

 

Easiest Kill: NinjaRay

Our second repeat winner! A vote for Brewguy with the comment, “I’m SO not winning this”, was not enough for Ray as he wins a close one over Jake, Brewguy and Silk (in that order). This category was not without drama though. At first count, it appeared that there was a tie for first place but a late vote change bumped Ray into the lead. However, upon a recount it was noted that this vote change did not actually affect the ultimate outcome in this category.

 

 

Best Burn: This category obviously has no outright winner so here’s all the submissions:

-          Kross: “I, for one, have never played with a duke.” Terror to Kross, “You see Kross, once you become a man, anytime you take a piss you hold a duke. Once you become married, you play with a duke. But a little one like you have…. well you said it!!”

-          “Here’s YOUR helm Fifty!”

-          The XXXXXXXXXXXXL hat for Kross and his ego

-          I can’t recall but it usually has Ninja on the receiving end.

-          The Jmac National Anthem

-          Havoc to a 14 year old wanker: “Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?” Kid: “I’ll tell you what my mother taught me!” Havoc: “How to give a blowjob?”

 

 

Scariest Gallery Picture: Cujo’s “Mangathering” picture

As nice of a guy that Cujo is, this picture IS downright scary! Other votes went to:

 

-          Ray teabagging 3 XCL’ers at once in the famed “XCL’er Versus Miata” race to the hotel at XCLE2004

-          DrEmm’s picture

-          Fifty’s posedown after wrestling the Mexican midgets

-          Jake hoisting Fifty over his shoulders

-          Ninja giving MrJ the People’s Eyebrow

-          Havoc’s LOTR avatar

-          Havoc’s CURRENT avatar

-          Old Man and Son’s picture

-          Mercury’s whipped cream shooter photo (This one was in the running for winning thanks to yet another vote for himself by Mercury)

 

 

Biggest Admin Buttkisser: NinjaRay

Kind of like Michael Jackson at the Grammy’s way back when, Ninja brings home another award this year. An interesting observation is that THREE admins received votes including one that voted for Chicken because “that’s obviously how he became an admin!” How does that happen??? Other notable votes were one for Kunzendorff (from none other than Brewguy), one vote for Old Man and Son (since he offered to be admin a week before he got suspended) and a couple votes for Kross.

 

 

XCL’er Most Likely To End Up In Politics: Night Chicken

Chicken picks up his second award of this year in a landslide. While ZChara may work for a politician, Chicken’s unwavering dedication to the art of the debate made an impression on many XCL’ers. Hell, someone even took the time to endorse their vote for Chicken by writing, “I find his posts coming from a higher source with a beam of light surrounding every word he says.” (no joke, that’s word for word) ZChara did get some votes though so we need to give him his props! Also mention must go to a vote for Diefuel (as a political prisoner!) and one for Insano (to lead the Marijuana Party). Hahahaha, you guys are nerds.

 

 

Most Whipped XCL’er: Fifty (begrudgingly)

Ok, let’s get something straight here. Are you guys blind???? Have you never heard of an XCL’er named Berserker??? No? You haven’t? Ever think of why? ‘Cause he’s SO whipped, he’s never even online!!! Yet, you must vote for me. From now on, this category will be weighted by vote. Call it abuse of power if you will but votes for guys like Wild who freakin’ offered to clean his house for a whole year so he can buy a 360 need to be weighted more than a busy guy like myself just not being able to make it online one night when I say I’ll be there. Sheesh!! So, basically, you twelve guys that voted for me? You know who you are and you’re all dead to me. Don’t bitch when you can’t log on tomorrow…

 

 

Most Hardcore Display of XCL Loyalty: Yendig/Dakin’s display of XCL love

One of the closest votes this year, this homo-erotic display of affection towards XCL narrowly beat out Havoc and Terror tattooing their freakin’ gamertags on themselves. Both are easily the two craziest things we’ve seen XCL’ers do for the site and both deserve much recognition. Other submissions were:

-          Brad buying the domain name

-          Chicken organizing XCLE2005

-          Silk and Jmac driving to XCLE2005

-          Fifty flying around the country to play Xbox

-          Terror for hosting the Jaken Bear Invitational LAN Party and successfully locking his wife and kids in their rooms all night so we could have 12 guys playing Halo2 with the volume turned up to 11 to 3am!

 

 

Best / Funniest Live Moment: SUPERSLAYER

There were some real gems submitted this year. Here is a summary of all of them:

-          Anytime Jake talks trash to “pubes” (DrJMac)

-          16 player (XCL) Halo2 matches with no lag (Fifty, Silk, Bowes)

-          SuperSlayer. Especially Warthogs flipping over and over until they blow and hearing the occupants (Insano) scream “weeeee” in glee. (Chaos, Chicken, Yendig, Havoc, Squid)

-          Playing coop SCCT, especially with Fifty ‘cause I really, really love him (Apache)

-          HaloBowl (Okage, Slythar, Easymac)

-          When Insano said someone “farted in his pants” (Mercury)

-          Insano, Jmac and Ray giggling like schoolgirls in one of their first rides in the new Halo2 Warthog (Ray)

-          Apache and I experimenting with explosives in SCCT (DrEmm)

-          Anytime Fifty is online (is that ass kissing or what?) (Brewguy) (Ed: Yes Brew, that IS ass kissing!! But I like it!)

-          Hearing Fifty’s story about the sailor in the bar telling people about how he’d been at sea for six months and when you’re gone that long everyone is pink inside (Terror)

-          “Anytime I have a chance to say, ‘It’s in your face!’” (Jake)

-          Brewguy’s various Halo2 messages (Dylan)

 

 

Scariest Live Moment: World of WarCrack

Was there any doubt? I think not. With the recent XCLE though, I think that we’re starting to see a chink in the level 60 armour. Other notable submissions were:

-          Anytime “pubes” join an XCL game

-          Havoc saying he would greet his first daughter’s boyfriend by shaking his hand and saying, “Is that the hand you jerk off with?”

-          Ray actually winning a Forza race.

-          Wild almost getting cut off from Live…. Again!

-          Find out that Conker sucked hard.

-          Getting stuck in a room in Halo2 with no ammo and facing Hawk, Okage and John Fire

-          The HaloBowl aftermath

-          When Mercury became a member

-          Having anyone on your team that is returning from a six month WoW hiatus. Guaranteed loss.

-          Playing Doom3 and realizing that the screams that I thought were my daughter having a nightmare were actually me hearing my own cries through the headset!! (Havoc)

 

 

Biggest Hype Train Engineer: Jake

Choo-choooo!!!!! Dude coined the phrase. Need we say more? Hell, someone even wrote “there must be so many beans in his diet they’re now coming out on the forums! TOOT TOOT!”.

 

 

XCL’er Most Affected By The XCL Effect: Silk

With comments from others like “he seems to enjoy it” and a vote for himself, Silk wins this one easily. Honourable mention goes to MWSandman for basically owning every game that exists regardless if it sucks ass or not.

 

 

Grumpiest XCL’er: Lilnate

Landslide. Enough said. Next topic. I’m outta here. Don’t ask for a reason why.

 

 

Pickiest Gamer: Night Chicken

Another decisive vote. Chicken wins this one easily with comments such as “Mr GameSpot” and “Mr I Want Something Flashier In My Driving Sim” directed towards him. Notable mention has to go to Chaos (Mr I Only Play One Game At A Time, Ever) thanks to a little blue buddy of his.

 

 

Biggest PS2 Fanboy: NinjaRay

The surprise winner of the 2005 XCLGA’s, Ray beats out perennial favorites Jmac, Night Chicken and Easymac! With comments such as “’cause he’s bought and sold it like 5 times or something” and “he’s probably spent more money re-acquiring PS2’s than he cares to share”, Ray brings in another award.

 

 

And for the award everyone’s been waiting for! The winner and NEW XCL Best Overall Gamer is:

 

JOHN FIRE!!!!

 

Congratulations John. While many people (including defending champ Chicken) got a lot of votes, several people made the point of commenting on John’s ability to excel at a wide range of different games including shooters (Halo2), sports games (Links) and racers.

 

And those are your winners of the 2005 XCLGA’s! Congrats!

 

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Oh… wait a minute… what’s this? Allow me to award a couple special new awards.

 

I would like to announce the Krossroad Lifetime Achievement Award. This award is a combination of the member who voted for themselves the most times and who provided statements to back up why they voted for themselves. We are proud to award this presitigious award to Mercury! With such comments supporting his votes for himself as “I’ve always got the sniper rifle or battle rifle in my hand”, “I’m always the one calling rockets in matchmaking due to the face I like to blow shit up” and “I this 1 is me do to the fact that eye hardless use n3 form of punctution”, Mercury showed that he truly does love himself!

 

Also, I would like to announce a new award this year. The Havoc Havarti Award for the cheesiest vote submission. Havoc’s winning submission was in the category for Best Overall Gamer. Havoc submitted a vote of “All of us. We all bring something great to the community!”. Congratulations Havoc for setting a nice a cheesy standard!!!

 

See ya next year!