A candid chat with a Chicken.

 

Volume 2 of the Bear Chronicles : Night Chicken

Bear talks gaming with XCL’s very own 2003 Gamer of the Year.  Don’t miss out on the life and times of Night Chicken.

 : Welcome to the second edition of the Bear Chronicles. Today we interview XCL’s 2003 gamer of the year, Night Chicken.  So poultry boy, how are you?

 : very good. very good.

 : OK so Night Chicken doesn’t seem like a persons name, what is your real name?

 : Troy Jenner

 : Wasn’t the million dollar man named Bruce Jenner?

 : No. No I believe that was Steve Austin as played by Lee Majors.  He was a decathlon gold medalist though.

 : Oh, what do I know . I’m a dog. All I watch is littlest Hobo and Lassie. Anyhow, what’s your family situation? You  hitched?

 : I am. Lovely wife named Sheri that admirably puts up with my Xbox playing ways.  Are you hitched bear?

 : Thats nice of her. And I have many bitches, but that’s besides the point. I have many hoes in different area codes if  you catch my drift. Any kids?

 : I do catch your drift you rascally dog. I have one very new daughter - Katelyn Paige. Just about 4 months old  now. She rules.

 : Very nice. Now lets get onto the good stuff…gaming…how did you become a “gamer”?

 : My father picked up an Atari 2600 when I was like 7. I never turned back. Asteroids and Missile Command  became Super Mario which became Crash Bandicoot which became SSX which finally became Master chief.  Of course I played a lot  of computer games in there too. Games always appealed to me and I never stopped playing them, even after I got married much to  my wife’s chagrin.

 : So you’ve never played “A dogs life” on PS2?

 : A Dog’s Life. No can’t say that I have. I dumped my PS2 before it came out even thought they have some rockin  games on that system. Is it good? Are you in it?

 : And no, I’m not in a Dogs life… I think its racist against big dogs. And I’m sure Sheri can get over your gaming  obsession. Now how did you get involved with XCL?

 : Well, I was a big Midtown Madness 3 player and one day while playing pub games I was lucky to fall into a  game with Jaken Bear (or possibly Lauren), Hawk07, Jamison, and brad. They seemed really cool.  It was right after Canada day.  I sent them a FR. XCL was formed the day before and I joined a couple of days later.

 : And what do you like most so far about your time at XCL?

 : Ahhhh, how do I count the ways?
#1 - No fuckin idiot kids making my life painful with all there “I kicked your ass” or “you suck”.
#2 - I am actually playing with people who are concerned about fun and not about winning. Sure winning is great but its a  video game people… it means nothing. Just have fun. If the only way you can have fun is by winning your life blows.
#3 Everyone here seems to be like me or at least close. This again assures me and those around me that I am not too abnormal  which is always a good thing.

 : Those are some damn good points. When I was a pup, I dreamt of being a police dog and hunting kitties and hippies all  day. Did you ever think in your wildest dreams you would have been named XCL’s top gamer for 2003?

 : No, not for a moment. I still think that a few checked the wrong box on a few ballots. I am decent at quite a  few games but far from the best in any of them. It was really cool though.  As long as people enjoy gaming with me, I am  happy.

 : If you would have had to give that award to someone else, who would it have been and why?

 : Oooooh. That’s a good question. Do I base it on gaming ability or overall gamership qualities (ability,  attitude, etc.)?

 : Well, as a dog I don’t really know what that means. I guess just overall, who do you think exemplifies XCL?

 : Well it would have to be DrJmac. He always has a great attitude, cares about fun and is one of the few people  who can trash talk without sounding like an asshole. That’s definitely a skill. There are others with that skill 50, Chaos,  even your master.  Plus JMac and I have the same likes game wise and generally see eye-to-eye on most in-game issues. <cough>  boot <cough>

 :So you guys are like brothers..in a gaming sense?

: I have been gaming with him the longest. I guess so. That sounds weird. There are others that truly could be  the best overall gamer too. Insano is great to play with. Silk. LX. Kross is cool when he’s not all pissed off at me.   Brewguy, XCL is filled with ‘em. That’s point #4 why its so great.

 : HAHA…Kross. Such a character. Now that you mention it, do you have a Nemesis in XCL?

: A nemesis. I do and it would be Kross overall. But lately in Halo 2 I have seem to be getting owned by 3  people predominantly. Apache, JohnFire, and NinjaRay. I don’t know if I have that one player that I see and think “aw there  he is.. must kill… must kill”. I enjoy shooting the whole lot.

 : Ya man, I hear those three are tough little Halo freaks.  Well, except for ninja.  He’s just O.k.  You recently  attended a pub night in Toronto with some of your fellow XCL’ers including the aforementioned Ninja Ray. Since the pub you  went to was racist against dogs and I wasn’t able to attend, please let me know how it was?

: It was cool. You know the phrase “put a name to the face”. Well its like that except its “put a face to the  voice”. When you hear peoples voices on Live you kind of come up with a mental image in your head of what they look like.  Then you see them in person and its not even close.  We drank some beers, shot some stick, and talked a lot about games and  even our lives. Definitely cool. Made some new friends that night.

 : Any funny stories from that night?

: Funny stories….. Well, sorry Apache but I find this funny. Apache, the nice good spirited dude he is asks  me for a ride since we both live in Guelph.  I agree to pick him up. Remember now that Apache is 18 and well he doesn’t have  his license and lives with his parents. He tells his parents that he is going out to Toronto with his video game playing 32  year old friend.  When I get there, I got a little interview by both mom and dad. Once I told them I stopped doing heroin the  day before and that the hooker in the car was only hitching they were cool. No seriously though, they were just looking out  for him. It was kind of funny.

kind of funny.

 : Were you afraid Jaken Bear was going to try and Beat him up when you got to Toronto?

: I was mildly concerned. You would have been proud of me Bear, I told him to not look Jake in the eye. Don’t  dogs get pissed off when you look them in the eye? Anyway, now he just resorts to poorly animated yet exceedingly funny  animated movies.

 : Never look a dog in his eyes unless you have Ham.  Dogs love Ham…and I knooow from experience.

: Well Apache didn’t have ham and I don’t’ know if Jake would have been interested. He’s a pretty big dude,  Apache wouldn’t stand a chance.  No offence Apache.

 : Is it true you just used having to have Apache home by midnight as a cover for you actually being whipped? Or is that  Fifty’s territory?

: Well partially. It is true that his parent asked me when we would be home. I told them around midnight since at the time I did have 2 month old and my wife was home alone. It was a whipping I am glad to take. Once I said 12, that was  the Apache deadline too.  However, I don’t know if I can ever be as good a whipee as 50. I mean he’s like the King of the  Whipped.

 : Cool. Lets get on with some more gaming questions now, or do you want to talk about the upcoming XCL Expo 2005 first?

: Ah yes the upcoming XCL Expo 2005. Here’s how it is.  I mentioned our rough plan to an event planner friend  of mine and she told me we got to get going on it for the GTA area.  I posted that and now have become defacto planner. I  need help. Especially with the location. Calling all GTAers. Where should we play?  It will be an awesome time though. Civic  holiday weekend 2005. Plan to be there! the west ender was awesome.

 : I know a good dog park.

: Does that dog park have high speed?

 : No, but there is one area in particular where this really hot Golden lab hangs out.

: Hot as she’s in heat or hot that she’s a fine looking bitch?

 : Well both actually. But speaking of high speed internet and dogs, do you know that last week Jake told a telemarketer  that the other person in the house who used the internet was his dog…and that his dog used it to look at pictures of  cats…and the guy actually believed him?? What’s with you people types?

: That is fucked up. If I didn’t know otherwise I would assume it was Rogers. There help staff are idiots. Just  ask Kunz.  Some people don’t listen, others are legitimately stupid. The combination of them is damning. Sounds like you got  one of those.

 : Lets get on with a few gaming questions now…for your fans…

: Let’em rip

 : My ultimate video game would be one where you hunt down Hippies wearing ham hats on their heads. When you catch them  you get to eat the Ham and throw the hippies off of a cliff. What would your “ultimate” video game be?

: My ultimate video game. A game that combines the style and mechanics of the best games in one great package.  Imagine a game that has both Halo2 and Splinter Cell in it but you could race the warthogs too. You could do anything. I  really like futuristic games too. Please no simulation.  Why simulate when I can likely do it for real? Know what I mean.  I  will have to think of the premise of this game. Your master probably told you not to ask any Jak questions but there is a  game that is the forerunner of what the game would be like.

 : Hmm, would these characters be wearing hats made from ham? Because then that game would rule.

: Many game types within one game, all polished, all cool, and all multiplayer. A video game  shooter/racer/action/fighter Olympics if you will. And sorry no ham would be worn in this game.

 : Yes, Jake mentioned you would try to make reference to some game called “Jakin” off… interesting.

: Figures…. haha. That was good of him to prepare you. Let’s leave it at that.

 : One last thing is that I think you should reconsider. Adding hats made of ham would really appeal to the dog  population. But I DOGress..

: I will take it into consideration. maybe they could smell like ham?

 : YA! that works!!  So overall you really dig what type of game?

: What type? To be honest I don’t have a hard and fast favorite. I really enjoy all games that are done well  and aren’t too difficult. Overly difficult games just succeed in pissing me off.  If I am going to play by myself than a  platformer. If multi-player/LIVE then a shooter or racer for sure.

 : The worst game you played this year had to have been ….

: Well it would have to be Unreal II. That game blew the skin flute in a serious way. I also found Battlefront  really disappointing.

 : Has anyone ever called you a picky gamer before? OR do you just have high standards for what goes in your box?

: Definitely. I agree, I am a picky gamer for sure. I have high standards. I see a lot of people giving Halo2 a  perfect 10. A perfect 10 is perfect. I don’t believe a game can be perfect at least not until we get some serious technology  upgrades.  A lot of people bitch about the ending of Halo2. If you didn’t like it how could you give it a ten. That being said  it was a solid 9.7. Not much wrong with it.

 : Halo 2 had an ending? From all the bitching I’ve heard that’s surprising to know.

: I know. Really, if the first Halo didn’t have the best ending in video game history it wouldn’t be a big  deal. In comparison to the first the ending of the second definitely blows.

 : So you’re saying that not even “Ham Hippies 3 : Hippies must die” deserves a 10?

: Ham Hippies might be that elusive 10. We’ll see. You got an insider at Bungie Bear?

 : Speaking of which, have you ever been teabagged by Jaken Bear in a video game. Or by anyone else for that matter. Did  it make you mad?

: Well funny you should ask. The people who have teabagged me list is akin to Santa’s naughty list. Your master  is at the top, followed very closely by Apache, Kross, Jmac, 50, Ninja, smurfs, insano, lx, brew, adrenal, okage, hawk, and  on and on.

 : Its got to be one of the funniest moves in video game history though right? Besides lifting up your leg and pissing on  them of course.

: It is THE funniest for sure. There are some that overuse it so it loses its meaning but they know who they  are.  Teabaggin is a god-damned legitimate sport in XCL. Its pretty funny. I love it when someone kill someone in the act of  teabagging. very gratifying to see my molester go down.

 : Very true. I know half of the time Jake gets killed its because he’s trying to perfect the teabag.

: We need an even more degrading term for being killed in the act of the teabag.

 : Lauren calls it “Taco’ing.

: Hahahahaha. That’s great. I’ll use it for sure.

 : Ok, onto my favorite part of the interview..XCL movie remakes.

: Yikes, ok. Movie roles.

 : Ok, today’s XCL remake is the Lord of the rings trilogy…I name the characters, and you name the XCL’er who reminds 
you most of said character. Ready?

: Ok

 : Aragorn?

: Insano.

 : Boromir?

: Fortitude. Only because he is pretty kick ass and takes a whole heap of us to take him down.

 : Frodo?

: Aw, come on he’s the hero. I am neither to bold or too egotistical to say myself.  ok, seriously. ummm. Frodo  - Chaos Smurf. You can imagine who the other hobbits are…. Also, Havoc smurf would fit in there as Sam.

 : Nice. ok, next up is Gandalf?

: Fifty cause he’s always disappearing and reappearing when you least expect it.  Plus he’s fast like that  horse Shadowfax.

 : Gimli?

: LX Extreme

 : Mr. muscles himself eh. ok, Legolas?

: Hawk. deadly aim.

 : Meriadoc and Pippen?

: JMac and Silk cause they just enjoy themselves no matter what.

 : These next ones may be tougher..shall we go on?

: sure.

 : Gollum…?

: Not gonna make any friends with this one but….that’s cool, its only a joke - Apache.  He is one guy who can handle it.

 : Bilbo Baggins?

: Definitely Mr. Jamison.  Without him there would be no XCL.

 : Saruman?

: Krossroad.

 : Arwen?

: That’s easy. Your lady keeper Lauren.  Brewguy would make a great Eomer too.

 : Nice. What about Elrond?

: Jaken Bear.  Another guy who helped get XCL off of the ground thats been around since the beginning and is always there to stir the pot. 

 : Ok, is there anyone else I’ve missed in our little game here?

: Sauron’s got to be Adrenal for sure.

 : Feed his ego some more why don’t you?

: Well at least its all black and evil ego right??? hahaha  I mean hey, he said I was Darth Vader in his  interview. What goes around comes around!  And Diefuel would be a good Faramir. As well, I think Dylan would make a good  Ghost King Dude.  He can be really great but can get pissy very unoccassionally.

 : True. Ok that turned out pretty well. Is there anything else XCL’ers should know about the Night Chicken?  Like maybe  how you became “night Chicken”?  Because I have no idea who names a dog “Bear”..you would think I’d be called “Dog” or  something like that.

: Well, that is really an uninteresting story. Plugged in my live and had to come up with a gamertag. I had  played my friends account and…all the GTs were Slayerthis and assassinthat. Darklord. Masterchief 583. Deathdealer.  Everything was dark and very testosterone driven. I decided I wanted something humorous, cool and slightly tongue in cheek.  Night Chicken is what I arrived at.

 : I thought you said Humorous?

: Most people seem to like it although I ran into some Floridian racist once who were sure I was an African  American. They got some bad feedback.  Bear, you don’t find it funny. My comedy isn’t Seinfeld quality by any means.

 : I’m a dog. Other dog’s asses and piles of leafs are funny to me. And Hippies with Ham Helmets of course. What is one  of your all-time greatest gaming  moments in XCL?

: There are so many. JMac and I had a truly unbelievable comeback in MM3 capture the gold once. We were down  over 400 points and came back to win. pretty thrilling. I have had some absolutely wicked times with both SC:PT and Halo2.  Tough to pick just one from either of those games.  In Halo2 - had a great game of lowball just the other day. We won by 3  seconds. God we were protecting Squid like he was the pope.  My favorite SC:PT were some epic battle between Havoc/Chaos and  JMac and I. Crazy epic. back and forth. Finally got Chaos at the end of my rifle.

 : Hmmm, very good. Do you have any interests outside of gaming you’d like to let people know about.

: Outside of gaming. I like to play softball and ultimate Frisbee in the summer. I do some curling in the  winter. yes, you read it right. It’s a great game that involves a lot of drinking.  I also like to gamble. Go to the casino  and online wager whenever I can.

 : Hey, you sound sort of like a hippy. Do you own any ham hats?

: My cats just ate it last night actually.  I also really relish all time I get at the cottage.

 : Yup, you are a hippy. That’s cool though… Cats are ok. They just aren’t dogs.

: Well at least they no where to piss in the house!

 : I piss outside like normal dogs. Cats piss in a sand box and then roll around in it. That’s sick.

: I have one other thing to say.

 : Bark away.

: XCL rules. Lets really make sure that we keep it in its current care-free, anti-clan ways.  You guys all  rock.

 : Well even though you are a hippy I can agree to that!!

: Thanks to you bear for a great interview. I see 20/20 in your future. First dog host in history.

 : Thanks for doing this Night Chicken.

: Later.

 : I’m glad you don’t hold it against me that I’m a dog. See you on live Hippy